Relationship / Midlife Crisis

昨晚上課時談及家庭關係、父母和子女的關係、朋友之間的關係、婚姻關係，到後來做case study 的時候談及中年危機 (midlife crisis) 。

Some Relationship Facts (from tutor’s notes w/o mentioning the source):
- There are more single people today than ever in history
- The divorce rate has been increasing
- 43% of first marriages end within 15 years
- 39% of remarriages end within 10 years

時代不同，人的價值觀也有所改變，現世代的人較著重自我，很多時候當人的期望跟現實有所分別的時候，問題就會產生。作為教練，難度最高的就是怎樣令對方在一己理想和現實當中做區分，not judging a relationship as right or wrong / good or bad, focus on meaning and long-term goals, 然後找尋可行的出路，從而有所改善和進步。畢竟，A relationship is part of the journey, not the destination。

說到中年危機，我在網上找到這些 definition :

"The midlife crisis is characterized by low mood, dissatisfaction with life, a feeling of pointlessness in life. The person needs to find something which gives them a purpose in life or which makes life worth living. What this might be is different for everyone.

Men might gauge their worth by their job performance. Women often get validity through relationships.

If successfully achieved, the person can move on into a potentially more productive or creative phase of life. If it has not been dealt with, then the person may continue to be depressed or unhappy indefinitely."

昨晚我coach了一位年紀和我相約的女同學，她覺得在工作上stuck了，上司對她很好，只是她覺得自己沒進步，想爭取制度上的改革，卻不成功，但實情是公司現況也不算差，只是她心有不甘，也沒考慮到上司的難處而已，也明白到這些問題，在那一家公司都有機會發生。

我跟她談了15 分鐘，到後來由 coaching 變成投契的 sharing，最後大家都發現這可能是我們的 midlife crisis 罷了！

我會覺得 "the midlife transition is simply another, normal transition to another stage of life”， 凡事看得通透一點，其實很多問題都是小問題而已。我還感受到女同學因我的話而有所領悟，有所釋然，我都頗有滿足感！

工作在我而言是生活的一部份，Work-Life Balance才是個更值得探討的題目。