失去、重聚

Winnie 的離開，令一班多年不見的同學重聚。人生就是這麼諷刺，得和失總是手牽手來敲你的門。

追思會裡重遇二十多年不見的同學，看着投影機一張張的相片，我們一起努力尋找相中「娘炳」的自己，很有趣。


搜索腦袋裡的回憶，我們都拾回遺忘已久的天真和歡笑聲。

唱著「那天再重聚」，再聽 'Try to Remember' ，想起很多人和事，看到眼前這個失去了媽媽的小朋友，令我想起他和小女孩。

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
The fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

無老有腦

考試季節，跟大M細M溫習，弄得我頭昏腦脹。

細M：『媽媽，妳剛才已經問過這個 topic，又問？』

我：『噢！是的，媽媽老了，沒記性呢！』

大M：『媽媽，別這麼說，妳無老，的確無老 …… 噢！別誤會，我不是說妳「無腦」，我意思是妳「無老」，但「有腦」！唉 …… 愈說愈亂呢！』

孩子，別擔心，媽媽明白你的好意。

人到中年

從課堂和書本裡學到，從40歲開始，這個人生階段稱之為 'Middle Adulthood'.

無論是 Erik Erikson 所解釋的 Stagnation vs Generative ，還是 Daniel Levinson’s Seasons of Life 所指的 Midlife Transition: remaining years become more precious …. Inner pressure to find more satisfying life path before it is too late.

我相信重點都是有關珍惜時間，趁還有心有力，找時間做自己喜歡做的事，別過份單一專注事業或照顧家庭或繼續頹廢，到老時不要有太多所謂 'unfinished business'，然後帶著很多未完的心願離開。

有趣的是，風水輪流轉，原來男人和女人踏入中年後：

Many men become more interested in expression of feelings, intimate relationships and nurturing, i.e. traits traditionally labeled as feminine.

Many women become more assertive, self-confident and achievement-oriented, i.e characteristics traditionally labeled as masculine.

變也好，不變也好，始終因人而異，只要別勉強自己便可。

而 Carol Ryff’s Dimensions of Well-Being (self-acceptance, positive relations with others, autonomy, environmental mastery, purpose in life, personal growth) 就的確值得參考和自我思考。

定下新目標，接受自己，將壓力變為動力，我相信 Midlife Crisis 也非人生必經的歷程。